Hurry up and wait

I’m so anxious to get back out on the road playing full band shows again, I can hardly stand it.  There’s so much going on over here, behind the scenes that, once things start to settle down and venues begin to open up again, it’s going to be a lot of fun for all of you, and for me.   

But, for now, we all have to wait.  I know, it’s hard.  Trust me.  The overall mentality of everyone I’ve talked to, inside and outside of the music industry, is that we’re all tired of the restrictions and want life to get back to normal as we approach the 1 year mark when things started to shut down.  I was having conversations with some of my fellow musicians on Sunday, and it was the first time I’d seen many of them in 3-4 years.  And we were all pretty much in the same mentality, that we’re all ready to get back out there and start performing for the fans again, and it’s not a question of ‘want’ but one of ‘can’t’.   

As I sit here and type this, my car has been in the shop for a week and a half for a warranty repair from the dealership in Colorado, who is going back and forth with Pep Boys about what they’re wanting to pay for.  I’m coming up on the 1 year anniversary of my separation from my last job, and about to head out to the one I’m at now where I’m making nearly 80% less than I was then, and really struggling to get my bills paid.   

So, this entry could be considered a reminder to you, but also to me that we’re all going to look back at this very soon and remember it as being something in the past.  And we’ll all be able to say to each other things like ‘wow, I can’t believe we had to go through that for so long’, and ‘I wasn’t sure we’d be able survive’, but we did.  And we will.  And we can.   

See, it’s all about how you frame things and put them in perspective.  Am I happier now that I’ve embraced the fact that I’ll always be a musician, chasing that dream of mine?  You bet your ass, I am!  Could things be easier if I were back making all that money again?  Of course they could, but I would still be convincing myself even today that it was all worth giving up on my passion, just so I could live a little more comfortably while also being alone, miserable and unhappy with where I was headed.   

I’ll share a bit of a personal story with you before I wrap up this entry to get ready to head out for the day.  I’ve known Roy Granados, who is now my manager, for a long time now, and he’s the one that’s really pushing and encouraging me to get outside of the comfort zone and break out of the bubble I’ve been in for the last several years.  He and I have known each other well and have continued our friendship since the days where he was managing a club called Rumor’s down in Laredo.  He's also I guy that I know I can trust, considering what we've gone through together during our friendship.  There have been plenty of times over the years where he always had my back, even during the times where it would've been easy for him to walk away.  The music business is full of people who will abuse your trust and try to manipulate you. Roy isn't one of those guys.

It was also pretty funny, too where I was on my way to fly back to Colorado last year to start packing up my apartment and I was watching TV and drinking a beer at the Salt Lick bar at the airport.  I struck up a conversation with some oil field guys while waiting for our respective flights, and they all knew Roy, Rumor’s and remembered seeing me perform there.  It’s a damn small world, my friends. 

Last Saturday he and I had one of our many long conversations we’ve had over the last year, and he told me he has a lot of things planned for me.  Considering where my state of mind has been during that time, he really had to work hard to convince me that this would work, and that wasn’t easy.  Remember, I had convinced myself for almost 3 years, regularly, that my full time job was now how the rest of my life was going to be and music, while a great after thought, was no longer possible.  That’s not an easy mind-frame to break out of, I assure you.  I had no evidence that things were going to change.  Until they did.  And they continue to, so when we spoke last weekend, it really resonated with me that this time, things were going to be different.  And the very next day, I genuinely felt the power and the camaraderie during an amazing memorial ceremony surrounded by some of my musical heroes, honoring one of our collective musical heroes and being reminded by all of them that things were, and are going to get better for us all.  

We just have to keep hanging in there.  Even if it means holding on to that one last burning ember.  That one small sliver of the piece of faith, endurance, perseverance and hope that we’ve all been so desperate to barely hang on to.  It’s still there and I’m finally beginning to believe that again. 

And I promise if my jaded, worn out, stubborn, hard headed, skeptical ass can manage to accomplish that you can too. 

Hang in there my friends.  Hit me up anytime if you need a friend, want some encouragement or just want to say hi.  I’m always listening. 

Have a great day! 

-brent
brent@brentallen.net

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